• Sliced buttermilk poundcake
    Food Feelings

    Buttermilk Pound Cake and Why It’s Part of My Grieving Process

    I was 19 when my mom suddenly passed away. One day she didn’t feel well and a week or so later she was gone. I was in the middle of finals in the spring semester of my sophomore year of college. No one wanted to “worry” me so I got the filtered version of events as it was all happening. And then I was too shocked to ask questions. The point is, she left and the grief came. Her wake was on her birthday. And a couple of weeks later I was nearly inconsolable on Mother’s Day. April and May are kind of…not my favorite months. I don’t know if…

  • Food Feelings

    The Weird Grief of A Pimento {and} Cheese Sandwich

    There’s a particular memory I have of my father—most likely a conglomeration of dozens of these tiny occurrences. I remember seeing him with his back to me, standing at the kitchen counter. There’s a tiny jar of red peppers, a much larger jar of Blue Plate mayonnaise, and some yellowy-orange cheese. I can hear the soft tinkling sounds of a butter knife against a bowl, the rustling of a bag of white bread. In a matter of moments there’s a sandwich on a plate—2 simple squares of white bread with a mushy pinkish orange something spread in between. I don’t know if I’m the only weirdo running around calling this…